Marriage, Misconception and Misapprehension 

Today’s topic is one which I wouldn’t usually delve into. However, it is the need of the hour. Do read and let me know your thoughts on the matter. 

Since time immemorial, humans have felt the need to be together. The need to be a part of a society. Even today, children are taught from a pretty young age that they ought to be a part of the society and contribute responsibly towards its well being. This is the general part.

Let’s dig deeper- personal part. A man has to find a woman (or otherwise) with whom, he can have a family. A person that he can love and care for. A person at whose feet, he is willing to bring down stars from the farthest corners of the universe. In short, a person for whom he is ready to kill and die for. Similar is the case with women too (equality🤣). 

Each human being is required to (by virtue of some obscure tradition) marry a suitable person- mostly of their own liking. This has been passed on to us as a normal way of life. Any deviation from this is treated as contempt of societal norms. Infact, from where I come, a bachelor or a spinster is looked down on. They are denied housing even if they are ready to pay a premium over the going rates on those grounds.

Keeping all the biases and grudges aside, I would like to touch down on a fundamental point- why is it that people are required to marry and have a family? Why is it that man is so driven by societal obligations that he often overlooks logic and reasoning? (If you have any convincing answers, I am all ears here)

The way I see it, there is only one explanation. Man is undoubtedly a social animal. But more often than not, only a handful of people make it large. Only a few people enjoy importance and standing in a societal set-up. The majority of the people are like the unassuming herd of cattle, in which it is very difficult to distinguish one from the others. And yet, everyone likes, rather wants, to be distinguished, don’t we?! 

What to do in such circumstances? Easy, form a micro society (what is now called as ‘Family’) of your own and lead a happy and fulfilling life-loving and caring for its members and getting the same reciprocated for yourself. A perfect solution for the most basic human need of belonginess. 

But this doesn’t end here. This simple solution, over the ages, has become a tradition. And it should be noted that society is not kind towards people, who don’t follow the customs and traditions. And so that brings me to a conclusion that, either make a mini society of your own or make yourself so powerful that you command a position in society which can’t be challenged by trifle traditions.  

For instance, Narendra Modi is a bachelor (not technically). Can the society have any prejudices against a man of his stature that it would otherwise have had, were he not the man that he is today. Would Ratan Tata, the ex chairman of Tata Sons, be disallowed a house in any housing society because he is a bachelor? Will Salman Khan demand any greater audience, if he gets married? Has Brad Pitt become any less of a human being, now that he is a divorcee. And the list is far from over.

Coming back to the point, I would like to ask you that whether you would still support the notion that people should be joined in a wedlock just because that’s the way it has been or are you willing to broaden your perspective and allow transformation. 

(P.S. the point of this post is to know the temperament of the society because I myself have been ridiculed time and again for the views that I believe in and that’s what I have tried to pen down here.
It would be really great to hear what you have to say about it. Regards)

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A Silent Spectator

In this journey of life, keep your eyes on the wonderful backgrounds. They pass by only once and if you are busy tredding on that worn road, then they are lost forever.

18 thoughts on “Marriage, Misconception and Misapprehension ”

  1. I agree with you completely. I don’t support the notion of marriage either. I have heard so many people say that they wish they never have to get married, but they have to because of their family. And then such marriages inevidently end in divorce or separation.
    Personally I’ve had bad experiences with relationships, so I’d rather stay single, and I no longer care what society will say. They aren’t leading my life.
    I think more people should have such an attitude.
    Kudos for writing on such a relevant topic! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t believe people have to be married in order to be happy together. I know many couples who make it work and are not legally married but to the outside world they would appear to live like a ‘married couple’. If nothing else, they seem to make it work more so than those who did take the plunge and get their relationships ‘approved’ in writing / legal.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful read…
    I would also like to widen the horizon of the article a little more. What you have written is for the heterosexual community which is perceived to be predominantly in majority in the society. The alternate sexuality folks are (as exactly mentioned by you) building their own communities and trying to strengthen it to form a mini society. Either the society needs to revamp it’s thinking or there will be several such mini societies in existence in near or distant future.
    But once again very well written article with quite mature thoughts. Congratulations!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Marriage has worked well for us. We’ve been together for over 40 years and I still love my sweetheart as much as I did in 1977. For us taking vows and making the commitment has also worked well. We’ve taken them seriously and in all those years neither one of us has cheated on the other. I realize that this is not the situation for everyone – each one of my siblings has been through a divorce, some of them twice – but for us taking vows and staying together has worked. Well!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m happy for you, sir.
      I’m sure it will remain intact till the end of you life.
      But let’s just say that our thinking differs. Infact, if staying together is being given impetus, do visit India.. here there are very very low rates of divorce.
      As for me, I don’t want to marry at all. I don’t think I’ll be able to take up those responsibilities. I enjoy being free and would want to continue being so.
      Have a good day. 😊

      Like

      1. I would love to visit India.

        Over the years I’ve learned to accept different ways of living and belief – thinking one way doesn’t rule out others. I know that I’ve changed my mind about same-sex marriage; if someone told me that I could never be with Lori ever again I would be shattered …and by extension I can readily see that would be true for anyone truly in love, regardless of gender.

        Like

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