Radical Changes Part I

Since as far as I can remember- my brother always used to tell me that I could only get things done my way at home, in front of him and my parents and that when it came to facing the world, all my stubbornness and false sense of power dissipates as quickly as a fart in the wind.

Ofcourse I disagreed.

But deep down, I knew he was right.

For most of my childhood, I wasn’t able to communicate with strangers. When eventually, I did converse with people and made friends- I would always agree to everything they said and do everything they did. Even worse is the fact that I would take their side even when they were wrong.

Recently, I did some soul searching. Why did I do what I did? What made me stand shoulder to shoulder with those who were wrong even after knowing that they were wrong? Why did I meekly agree to everything that these people said but always rebelled against whatever my true benefactors- my family members said?

And guess What.. I do have the answers. Finally.

As I mentioned earlier, I wasn’t the best person in the crowd that you could strike a conversation with. Oh! Leave the best, I wasn’t even the second best or the third best. In reality, I must have been at the very bottom of the pile.

Though I may have been at the bottom, but I am a human being, just like you are. And there’s a reason why we are called social animals, right? We all need other human beings in our life. People with whom we can share our joys and sorrows. People with whom we can share secrets and experiences. I guess, I wasn’t any different.

So when I eventually befriended someone, I would go all out- do everything to maintain that friendship. Hell, I would not think twice about quarrelling with my brother, just to hang out with some friends, supposedly to have some fun time (Sorry about those times Parv, I know you only did it out of concern for me).

As mentioned earlier, I am a human being. Just like every other human being, I also have a lot of expectations from people, whose expectations I fulfill. Yes, I know therein lies the problem. But I can’t help it. But why should I even help it? I never as much as lay my eyes on a thing which isn’t mine, but it’s my right to take what is mine and still, rather than snatching it, I patiently wait and expect that it will be given to me- fairly and justly. Oh boy, can I be more wrong?

I always thought that there is good in the world and that everything will be set right eventually. Atleast this is what happens in movies and fairy tales. Yet, I always overlooked the fact that I didn’t live in a fairy world. I live in a place where the law of the nature itself states- Survival of the fittest.

Who was I fooling then but myself by waiting for things to come my way as a matter of right?

I gave my time freely to just about anyone and everyone that I was comfortable talking with. Not just my time, I gave everything that I could give. Though I never expected anyone to return any of it, I sure expected the receivers to stand behind me, if not besides me when required. I expected the receivers to atleast refuse politely rather than bluntly ignoring me when I asked them to help me in my hour of need. I am sure this isn’t too much to expect.

Anyway, I don’t want to cry about it. I want to write about how a single day can change someone’s life utterly and completely, especially since quite a few people have told me that I’ve changed- for the worse.

Such days come once or twice in a lifetime. They transform your way of living. You become so much more mature in a matter of few hours.

My day of realisation came too and since then, there’s been no looking back. I haven’t exactly become the first cousin of Darth Vader or the second cousin of the Devil, but I have learnt to stand my ground, even at the expense of losing people. Anyway, they must have never cared, because if they did, they would come right back, just like my brother or a host of other people do everytime. These are the people, whom I cherish.

Ever since you experience the day of realisation, your outlook towards life changes. You develop a respect for others, knowing that they all fight their own battles, but at the same time, you don’t allow yourself to be berated by anyone. You demand the same respect that you offer to others. You learn to speak up for yourself, even if it ends up being sour because at the end of the day, people come and go, but your conscience stays. And a battered and bruised conscience seldom fares well.

You begin to empathise with others but you also understand that empathising is all you can do and that not every battle is yours to fight. Infact, as your perspective broadens, you realise that there are many personal battles that shouldn’t be fought, because they’re futile.

Just like you learn to choose your battles wisely, you choose people wisely too. You stop seeking attention of anyone and everyone. Infact, you abhor attention unless completely necessary. You realise that attention only brings chaos and nuisance.

You acquire new powers and skills which were hitherto unknown to you because now you don’t have to spend your time balancing people and your mind, wasted by expectations.

(To be continued on request, so do like and comment, otherwise I’ll never know whether or not to write part II. Till then cya😉)

Is stress required in life?  

Well, most of the readers will obviously say a big NO. I mean, why take stress and bring home all the diseases which accompany stress. Only a fool would believe stress is not bad. And mind you, such fools do exist. 

I am one among them. Personally, I believe that stress is as important in life as salt is in food. Just as food without salt is useless, so is life without stress. It is in moments of stress and pressure that the mind functions optimally. In fact, it would not be wrong to say that stress acts as a stimulus for greater efficiency. 

Take any list which contains influential people. You will not find even one person in that list, who reached where he/ she is now before undergoing a period of stress and utmost pressure. There is an old adage which goes: every carbon molecule can get converted into a diamond, but very few, which take on the pressure finally become one. 

However, just as a lot of salt can poison the entire food, similarly, a lot of stress can harm a person. One should not keep on taking stressful tasks one after the other. Stress is just a part of our life, and yet we tend to make it our life. This can have  serious implications across various dimensions of life. 

To conclude, I would like to urge the fellow readers to remove the perception that stress has a very negative connotation. We must learn to use stress to our advantage. We need to learn, how to use it to navigate through unfavourable situations and turnaround our losses into our gains. And be very sure, this is quite possible. In fact, not just possible but rather probable! 
Happy Reading !! 

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Reflections- the December kid.

A December born man (me) is someone who is truthful, freaky a little bit, seeking for freedom and a fan of diversity. Trips are his thing. Overall, he is someone you need to watch out for. The truth of the matter is a December born man is someone who is moody quite a bit. Sometimes he doesn’t care at all, other times he follows your every single move. There is a never ending desire in him to fix everything. Sometimes it is agitating even!
Another fact about this guy is that he is always surrounded by the creations of his own world, so if you want to contact him, you need to find your way through all of those creations. Don’t even be pessimistic when it comes to him. He is the most optimistic you will ever see in your life. You have my word. His rose eyed glasses work all the time. Even when his enemy does something to hurt him, he will think about many reasons why he is acting like this!

Of course, living for these people is pretty tough since they see the best in everything and they almost trust everyone. The only place where can be the safe zone for them is the family. Good thing is that he brings luck with himself wherever he goes. This luck follows him everywhere.

He is not the most sociable person on planet earth. He will not speak a word to you before you start to speak with him. But once if you begin speaking to him, you shall realise that it is pretty difficult to shut him out. Also, there is a collection of friends that he possesses in every single field, so you probably won’t have any problems pulling some strings here and there. These are surprisingly all true friends because before making friends, this guy makes sure that they are actual human beings deep down. He cares more about how people are personality wise rather than how they look outside.

He doesn’t even have many enemies and rivals. Sometimes his straightforwardness hurts people and he ends up turning his friends into enemies but soon they will realize that he wanted the best for them and that was the reason why he expressed the bitter truth and spoke his mind. That is just the way he is. He doesn’t think things through before saying them but he doesn’t mean bad. It just never occurs to his mind that maybe he will hurt the one with what he will say.

His words cut deeper than a knife. Without sugar coating or any background, bluntly he says what he thinks. To have a fine friendship with this guy, you need to cut him some slack and deal with all the thing he says because as it goes further, you will be so grateful for having someone in your life who is not fake and actually speaks his mind out.

Freedom is what he needs even if he is in a hopeless nightmare. If there is something that is worth mentioning, he will let you know so you can only trust him and learn to accept and love him the way that he is. Be sure that if he is with you, that means he cares for you and will try his best to save you from any impending disaster- personal or social.

Most of December born men are petrified when it comes to family. Just like any other month borns, he loves his family and cares about them but he never lets them interfere in his private, personal life. If you are friends with a December born, make sure that you are always packed and ready to go on a trip. Having said all that, as I always say, people’s way of living and their attitude changes according to the circumstances they are in.
(Okay, this is not 100% my creation but what is contained in it is 100% me and many others like me – the December kids) 😁 

The Road to be taken!!

Rumi once said, ” It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you”.

This road is a metaphor for your life- the essence of your being. 

Most of the people today,  wake up in the urban jungle, filled with concrete buildings and glass offices. The location of the same, defines the stature of these people. People are so lost, that material achievements have gained stupendous value and the real needs of a human being have begun to get lost in time.

As far as I am concerned,  stars on a moonless night fascinate me more than the presidential suites of luxurious hotels. And till the time this holds true, I know that even if God himself tries, he won’t be able to persuade me to stop loathing the animal lifestyle which has become the new cool.

Hordes and hordes of people get up each morning- just to catch that train to reach their posh offices in the self proclaimed upmarket area of a concept called as concrete jungle. The interesting part is that people are content with such mediocre life. 

To such people, I have a loud and clear message- WAKE UP!! We are free humans and not prisoners, bound to live a routine life. Explore this interesting planet called Earth. Go to new places. Meet new people. Create new memories. As a bonus, you already have a free trip round the sun every year ;).

Remember, each day brings with itself 86,400 seconds. Even if you can spend 14,400 seconds from those for pursuing what your heart desires- I will consider your entire day well spent.

We must all remember that when we are on our death bed, it is not the things we did that we regret but the things that we didn’t do. And this regret is a very sad place to be in. It kills you on the inside, only the breathing continues. I remember reading somewhere that death should be such that even angels are sad for taking your soul away.

To conclude, life is a precious gift given to us. It is up to us to direct it in whichever way we want it to go. We can always take shortcuts, but true happiness is derived only when we take the correct path and travel it fully till the end of the journey. 

Remember Ralph Waldo Emerson, “journey and not the destination, is what that matters!!”


Adieu !

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