When Laila said, ” seize the day, my friend.. pehle iss din ko poori tarah jiyo…”, it was just another dialogue for me- notwithstanding the fact that ZNMD is one of my most favourite movies of all time which I have watched more than 100 times (atleast).
Also, when Amitabh Bhattacharya beautifully penned the following:
‘Kal ki khushiyon ka mehanga
Mutual fund leke
Kisht kyon bhar raha hai
Aaj ko dand deke‘
(For tomorrow’s happiness, why are you punishing your today)
I let it pass as if it was just any other random song.
But when I was coming home one fine day- last week, after sitting for rigourous interviews during the placement drive, with a confirmed job offer in hand, I didn’t feel any joy or happiness. There wasn’t a feeling of satisfaction or exultation. I had joined the rat race like millions before me. For once, it felt as if all the grind was not worth it after all. For the first time, I was able to relate to the above mentioned dialogue and the song lyrics and a whole lot of other things.
People close to me, people who know me well, shall surely realise this profound change, which had occurred in me.
For the ignorant- I never usually pay attention to the meaning of the song or take any teachings from any movies (most of them are anyway not worth mentioning :p).
At this point, if you’ve written me off as “Confused”, I would humbly urge you to reconsider. I’m not at all confused. Infact, I know what I have done so far in my life and I have a plan ready for all the things I am yet to do and achieve.
It is funny feeling, this, realising that everything you endured thus far in life, was to culminate into one job offer and one job offer alone. All my grand notions of a great life post my CA result lay shattered in that moment. Sure I was luckier than a whole lot of candidates, who couldn’t secure a job offer, but there was a hollow that I felt within me- somewhere, which I probably won’t be able to express in words.
“Somehow”- just like all the major life changing things have happened to me (somehow i started understanding math in 9th grade)-Somehow, I started feeling things more deeply, more intimately. These past few days, I have stopped rushing everywhere, or for that matter, Anywhere! Instead, now I take time out to feel the cool winds, which the blessed Nature always provided, but I never cared about due to my perpetual haste.
Now, I often stand in the balcony when it rains, so that I don’t get drenched, but at the same time, I can also enjoy the raindrops (if you’ve not tried this, then you must..at the earliest- thank me later).
In short, I have started getting a feeling that I’ve begun experiencing Life for what it truly is- that I’m not just merely living Life.
Maybe this is what growing up is all about.
Maybe this is what life is all about.
Whatever this is, it has surely left a very positive impact on me.
I have been able to make a profound connection with my surroundings, other people and with my own self.
Somehow, I realised that “Today is the tomorrow, we worried about yesterday…” And All is Well!